Cane-Fu Fighters

Matt Sedensky of the Associated Press reported yesterday that seniors are taking up the art of “Cane-Fu” for self-defense. You know what this means, right? Someone will decide that we need to regulate this. Some poor elderly man or woman will successfully defend his or herself against a pickpocket or purse snatcher (or worse), injuring the criminal in the process, and be sued by the jerk. There will be a lawyer out there who will take the case. And eventually all those seniors with canes will have to register themselves and their deadly weapons with the government. Thanks a lot, Matt Sedensky!

A few years ago I was a student of Tae Kwon Do at a martial arts dojo in Grapevine. My son was studying it and after hours of watching his lessons, Marcia, another mom and fellow flight attendant, talked me into signing up to take lessons along with her. Her theory was that we could be black belts by then if we’d spent as many hours doing it as we had watching our sons do it. “Besides,” she offered, “it’s great exercise!”

She was right—it was great exercise. We worked on our “forms,” the intricate, almost dance-like drills used for the purpose of teaching discipline and self-defense moves; and we sparred against each other on Fridays. I remember my teacher telling me that if I ever used my self-defense skills to defend myself and injured my attacker in the process, I could be held accountable because I possessed deadly weapons—my hands and feet. He apparently had a lot more faith in his teaching than I did in my learning. Alas, it got too rough for my fifty-something-at-the-time body, but Marcia and our boys earned their black belts and went on to work on more advanced techniques.

The black belts, as we called the students who had earned them, were allowed to study the use of weapons in martial arts. Since he was not old enough to drive himself to the dojo, it was back to sitting and watching my son in his classes. And since I was no longer a student, I was permitted to watch the advanced classes as a parent observer. Walking canes were used in place of actual fighting sticks, staffs, and swords in the weapons sessions. I remember thinking at the time that the weapons class looked like the cast of a musical review, all dressed in black uniforms and swinging and thrusting their canes in unison. It never occurred to me that I might need to possess the skills and knowledge they were learning in those classes.

So here we are, sixty-something, and Cane-Fu is a recognized self-defense tactic for us senior baby boomers. Can’t you just imagine how this could play out in Texas and certain other parts of the country? People over sixty will be rushing out to buy canes. There will be pearl-handled canes and canes with special assault grips. There may even be semi-automatic canes with spring-loaded assists for rapid deployment in threatening situations. There’ll be a branch of the NRA called the NCA. And then some legislator will introduce a bill to regulate our canes and we’ll have to pay a fee for a license. Thanks a lot, Matt Sedensky!

Have a great day and don't forget to laugh. Check out the whole story at: Cane-Fu

Donna