What Are You Doing Next, Sandy?

For as long as I’ve known her, Sandy has been something of a big sister to me. You know the kind of friend I’m talking about—she seems to have already done what you’re trying to do, and is always there to help you out when you need her.

After initial “stewardess” training in 1966, Sandy went to Buffalo, New York. I went to Chicago in 1968, and we both transferred to San Diego in 1972. We didn’t really get to know each other until we transferred to our international base in Los Angeles in 1980. Our only “international” trip at that time was between L.A. and Honolulu, so Sandy and I found ourselves working the same trip many, many times. Yes, I do realize that Hawaii is our 50th state and not really an international destination, but that’s what we called it because to get there we flew over one of the really big ponds.

Sandy was always busy doing something new and creative—and she was quite the entrepreneur. When we flight attendants began wearing silk flowers in our hair to complement our Hawaiian muu muus, (uniforms designed to make us look like a cross between a geisha and a room divider), Sandy set to work making and selling “made to order” tropical floral hair accessories and called her business “Petal Pusher.” She later added cloth tote bags and beaded jewelry to her inventory and became the “go to girl” for hand-made travel accessories.

Over the years, Sandy tried macramé, knitting, needlepoint, crochet and cross stitch, but she always loved to sew. Her first sewing machine purchase was a Singer Golden Touch and Sew, costing around three hundred dollars—and that included the wood cabinet it was in. With it, Sandy said she made “loving hands at home” projects.

“What are ‘loving hands at home’ projects?” I asked, thinking she was referring to some kind of charitable work.

“You know. . . the kind of stuff that when someone sees it for the first time, they think: ‘Oh, my God!’”

The death of her mother in 1994 left Sandy floundering for a while. During this period, she began watching Sewing with Nancy, the long-running sewing series on public television, and was motivated to sharpen her sewing skills. In 1995 a friend showed her a home embroidery machine and Sandy decided she had to own one. That was just the beginning. For much of the next fifteen years, she continued to upgrade her machines and her skills, but for some reason she resisted quilting until just a few years ago. Now she can’t get enough of it.

Recently Sandy welcomed me at one of her sewing group gatherings to meet her friends and take a few pictures. I met her at Quilter’s Dream, a popular quilter’s supply store and sewing center in Colleyville, Texas. I felt like a rat in a maze as one of the employees led me through the multi-roomed building to the area where Sandy’s group was sewing. It reminded me of those photos of the sweatshops with all the women sitting at sewing machines in every room amidst the stacks of brightly colored fabric. But these women were doing what they love to do!

Sandy invited me to join her sewing group, the “Bag Ladies,” for lunch at a local deli. The ladies at the table talked about sewing machines the way guys talk about cars—or computers. In fact, their sewing machines are computers these days. And just as with PCs and Macs, they no sooner buy a machine than a newer, faster, more powerful model is on the market in a short time.

While Sandy’s definitely taken to retirement, in many ways she’s busier than ever. She attends sewing retreats around the state, with three planned for this year. She’s a member of four local sewing groups: Raveled Thread, Bag Ladies, I Love to Sew, and a serger club. She’s a member of a Red Hat Society group and the American Sewing Guild national organization. She also continues to sign up for sewing classes.

Now when she asks her many nieces and nephews what they’d like for wedding or Christmas gifts, it’s one of her quilts they request. Her quilts draw high-dollar bids at the American Airlines Wings Foundation benefits. “Wings” is the tax exempt, non-profit organization created, funded and managed by American Airlines Flight Attendants for the benefit of seriously ill or disabled colleagues.

April 1st will be the second anniversary of her retirement from American Airlines. Happy Anniversary, Sandy. Glad to see you’re taking it easy.

Donna

Reply Hazy, Try Again

Six months ago I retired after forty years as a flight attendant for American Airlines. At first I found myself mildly irritated and without a response when asked by nearly all my non-flying friends, “What are you going to do now?” Somehow the question made me feel guilty. I wanted a break from responsibility, and I certainly felt qualified to relax after forty years of living out of a suitcase and “slinging hash.”

Before going to work for American, I spent two years clerking at the University of Michigan. And before that I worked at a K-Mart store weekends and evenings during high school. At 16, I spent one day scooping ice cream at a Baskin-Robbins store and decided that was not for me when I couldn’t use my right arm for a couple of days afterward. From the age of 12 until I moved away from home at age 20, I babysat for several families and cleaned houses in the neighborhood where I grew up. Tucked in here and there were a couple of years of college, a couple of years of extension university while I followed my husband, the Marine, around the country, and then an immersion into computer classes in the early eighties. The only reason to mention these things is simply to point out that this is my first foray into idleness.

You’ve been a flight attendant for my whole life.

After I announced my intention to retire, my twenty-one year old son asked, “What are you going to BE now? You’ve been a flight attendant for my whole life.” For him, the question was about identity: “My mom is a flight attendant.” I told him I’ll be a retired flight attendant. He bounced back with “I guess instead of being a tired flight attendant, now you’ll be a RE-tired flight attendant.”

Now that I’m RE-tired I’m not tired at all, relatively speaking. I turned sixty-one this past Saturday, so I’m not exactly brimming with youthful energy. I’m sleeping through the night occasionally, my neck and back pain have eased up some, my eyes are no longer bloodshot, and I’m fairly regular. My knees ache less, my feet aren’t swollen, and my hands aren’t chapped and raw from washing them obsessively to ward off strangers’ germs.

Meet the gang.

Several of my friends retired with me. They all were flight attendants for an equal or longer time than I. They all have “things” to do. Judy takes care of her father’s old and ailing friends, along with our own aging and ailing friends. In addition, she rescues homeless cats and feeds and waters strays. She feeds and waters us more or less regularly also. Gail volunteers at her church a couple of days a week and rescues pound puppies. Sandy sews and has joined a Red Hat group that meets for quilting lessons and lunches. Barbara, a widow, volunteers at Ten Thousand Villages and has published a book about her husband’s life. Sonnie and Beverly are battling cancer. Carrol works at a golf pro shop and is caring for her husband in his battle with cancer. Gerry, a two-time cancer survivor, just buried her mother and buried her husband two years ago.

Like most senior baby boomers, we also have cataracts and glaucoma, high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol, osteoporosis, and sleep apnea within our circle, along with many other age-related aches, pains and medical problems. Almost all have lost at least one parent and most of us have lost both of them. We bought retirement annuities with our already floundering 401k’s, only to have the recent economic nose-dive drag our retirement funds down with it. Like countless others, we console and comfort ourselves with the notion that “everyone’s in the same boat.” We drink some.

Mandatory retirement.

I loved my job for most of my 40 years at it, but now I’m at the threshold of old and way past the peak of youthful energy. I have been enjoying a brief period of no time-clock punching, no responsibility for the care and feeding of hundreds of tired, hungry and often angry customers, no tension over recurrent tests and aircraft evacuation drills to stay qualified to keep my job, and no schedule-juggling uncertainty about holidays and important family times.

Since the nation’s economic meltdown last October, most of my contemporaries are still working and many plan to go to age sixty-six, or beyond, if they’re bodies hold up. For many years, when people asked “at what age do flight attendants have to retire?” my wise-cracking reply was: “at death.” We haven’t had a mandatory retirement age since the 1970’s; we can keep flying until we are no longer able to spring from a jumpseat and evacuate a plane-full of people. Thanks to our economy, “at death” may no longer be a joke to many of my contemporaries.

Prior to October, 2008, “what are you going to do now?” was usually a question about travel plans, hobbies or volunteer work after retirement. Now when we gaze into the Magic 8-Ball, the answer is “reply hazy, try again.” Having said all this, Life is darned good and my next post will introduce one local group and how they cope—and help me cope.

In the meanwhile check out this fun video from CNN.

Donna