Wow! It's been about seven years since I last posted on this blog. I'm going to have to learn how to do it all over again.
I stopped writing when my brother Grant died. His was not a tragic death--it was a tragic life. My two surviving brothers and I mourned Grant's death, but it was hardly a shock or a surprise. He had courted Death since he was a child. He was probably ADD or ADHD and most likely bipolar. He had a violent temper and was reckless and destructive. I believe Grant had no conscience. He could have looked you in the eye with his hand on the Bible and then lie like a politician.
He was a drug addict and an alcoholic, and my mother adored him. Everyone loved him and forgave him....no matter how angry he made them, or how badly he disappointed them. He threw away a perfectly good wife and two sons. Everyone forgave him--everyone except his older son.
He was a musical prodigy. Everyone loved to hear Grant play Dixieland and ragtime on the piano. He would play anywhere--in bars, in rehab centers--anywhere there was a piano. His music was loved by everyone except my dad. Dad played ragtime piano also. But Dad was classically trained, and complained angrily that Grant was totally undisciplined. Discipline was Grant's kryptonite.
Do I sound angry? That's probably why I wouldn't write after Grant's death. I'm not angry at him anymore, but I am thinking about death lately.
This post isn't about death actually--it's about moving on and acceptance. I'm old--not ancient--but definitely old, and I'm hoping to survive the COVID-19 pandemic. I have two beautiful grandsons and a wonderful son and daughter-in-law. I want to see them and wrap my arms around them and hug the stuffin's out of them some more.
Lately I'm finding the jokes and funny posts on social media make me laugh out loud more or louder. I don't go to the movies much these days, but I've watched three movies at home this week with Jim. Like a child, I laughed out loud and shouted warnings to the characters. I can't be certain, but I think food may taste better even. Certainly chocolate does.
So, to wrap this up I say, Life is Good. I miss you sometimes Grant, and I'm sorry you can't be here to enjoy your grandchildren and maybe be enjoyed by them. One of your grandsons has a real gift for the piano and a talent for boogie-woogie. Boogie on, sad Brother....I have living to do!
